Personal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do this thing.

Thing 1: To walk more.

Here’s what I want:

One of the member mice in my Kitchen Table program has started this thing where she committed to spending as much time walking outdoors as she does doing stuff online.

I am in awe.

Not quite ready for as big a commitment as that, but yes. More Walking!

Ways this could work:

I can remember to keep extra socks by the door. And boots! And leg warmers! It’s cold in Portland.

My gentleman friend can drag me out for walks and I can let him.

Selma can wear one of her winter scarves as a reminder that it’s time to take my duck for a walk.

Some Shiva Nata can get me ready to move. Or can help me figure out why I’m resisting it, since walking is normally one of my favorite things.

I can set alarms and reminders so I can do this during the day and not when it’s dark, which seems to be pretty much all the time lately. Oof. Winter.

Twitter-accountability partners. Or checking in on the Deguiltified Chicken Board forum at the Kitchen Table.

My commitment.

I can be patient with this practice, and give it time to start slowly and grow at its own speed. I can be okay with the fact that I’m not very good at being patient.

Or to not be okay with that, but to notice the pattern of not-being-okay-with-it.

Thing 2: to announce something without announcing it.

Here’s what I want:

There are two new openings for someone to join my fabulous hard-to-get-into Destuckification Retreat. You know, the one I never really announced.

Though I did mention it in a sentence on my Item! post, which for me is hard-core promotional since I don’t promote stuff at all, as a rule.

So. I need a way to announce these two spots (one single room, one shared room). But without sending the people who have already applied into Massive Freakouts In My Inbox about oh no what if they didn’t get in.*

*You’d be surprised, but Massive Freakouts is just one guy. Also? If you’ve applied and haven’t gotten a no, this isn’t the no. You’re probably fine for now, we’ll talk VERY soon, no worries.

How I want this to work:

With ease.

I want a couple more Right People to go take a look at the page, to ignore the part where it says it’s full (it was) and apply anyway.

People who have already done stuff with me and Selma in person (in duck?) know what an enormous everything-is-better-now experience it is. They know what it’s like to spend say, an afternoon destuckifying with me and then go home knowing that hey, they can do the thing, and then watching things just happen.

So they can imagine what it’s like to have an entire week of that, only amplified. Because the hilarity and wonder are huge. And this one will actually have rest and recovery too.

And brain-zapping. Oh, the zappy. It will be like fireworks. Only less scary.

People who haven’t done stuff with me will realize that whatever amazingness they’re imagining, it’s so much cooler than that, even though that might be kind of hard to believe.

They will look at the schedule. They will get a brief but tingly sense of what is possible when your stuff isn’t getting in the way. And when you know exactly what to do when things aren’t working.

And you know what needs to happen — plus how to access the part of you that knows it can happen, which is even more crazy and great.

My commitment.

There won’t be promotional stuff. I am not going to write a post about the retreat. I’m not going to send out an email to anyone.

Even though — “officially” — the early bird thing ends tonight, if these two right people show up, I will give them the early price even if it is past the deadline. Because what the hell, I didn’t even announce it. So it’s only fair.

I’m going to remember that if this program almost-filled without me making a big tzimmes about its existence, the Very Personal Ad can take care of the rest.

As soon as these two newly available spots are taken, I will close enrollment.

I will go through the new applications as quickly as I can. And set up phone interviews as necessary.

And I will continue be hugely appreciative of everyone in my world, as I always am: those people who love my work but can’t take classes and programs right now, those who participate in bloggishness with me, and my beloved lurkers.

They’re all marvelous.

One more thing: I will try to remember to provide links when I use Yiddishisms. And I will give one more link to the Seven Days of Destuckification Retreat.

Thing 3: Patience! More of it, please. In all forms.

Here’s what I want:

There are all these people on the waiting list for my Kitchen Table program.

And it takes huge chunks of time to process applications and figure out how many more spaces we can open.

So we’ve been doing it in sections, one small group at a time. As fast as we can. But we’re also dealing with applications for two other programs. It’s been busy. Insanely so. We’re trying.

And people have been having even more freakouts in my inbox. Are we sensing a theme? There is a theme.

Here’s how this could work:

I don’t know. Asking.

Asking for more patience from people who are waiting. Asking for some for myself.

Improving my systems. Sing ho for systems! Systems, ho! More on that next week.

My commitment.

To breathe. To communicate. To breathe some more.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last week.

The funny thing is realizing now that I did create an ask around the Destuckification Retreat last week. And then forgot about it.

But the ask wasn’t for Right People.

The ask was for me to do a bunch of administrative stuff. Which I didn’t do. Because I was teaching all week in California and things were crazy.

But maybe I didn’t do it because that wasn’t the way I wanted to do things. Maybe what I really wanted was this week’s ask for things to happen with ease and grace. And for me not to have to do a bunch of administrative stuff.

Whew. That feels better. Looser. The breathing thing. Totally working better.

I also asked for time off (you know, for me to give it to myself), which hasn’t happened yet.

Ironically, Wednesday took me off instead of the other way around, because I was recovering from some hard and couldn’t do much even if I’d wanted to.

Movement. Small. Working on it.

Also, the past few weeks have had a lot of asks related to difficult interpersonal situations, all but one of which have been quietly working themselves out.

And who knows? Maybe we’ll get some movement on that one too.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. 🙂

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

• Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

• Reality theories.
• Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
• To be judged or psychoanalyzed.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird. Thanks for doing this with me!