What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Friday Chicken #256: Eleven hours
Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Friday already?
She asks, for the two hundred and fifty sixth time in a row….
What worked?
Bed over logic.
On Saturday night I went to bed at 8:15 in the evening.
I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t afraid I was about to get sick.
Those would normally be the two reasons that would justify passing up on good food and good company. It defied logic, but there it was. I felt fine. I just wanted to be in bed, so I went to bed.
My body wanted sleep, and I went with it. This felt like such a huge thing, and such a clear result of all the work I have been doing on the themes of:
- Trusting My Instincts.
- My Body Is CEO.
- This Is Where I Live.
- I Trust My Process As A Human Being.
Everything I’ve been focused on all came together, and it worked. I slept for eleven beautiful hours, and discovered (or rediscovered) that a well-rested Havi is a happy, happy Havi.
And: that I don’t need a reason to trust my body. It’s just right because it’s right.
Next time I might…
Remember sooner that the fear is not the whole story.
There was a good deal of freaking out about the upcoming [rhymes with headlines] and the resulting chorus of You’re So Trucked.
Whenever I was able to remember that I don’t know how this is going to end, and that there are all kinds of perfect simple solutions available to me, and that these are easier to access/see/receive when I am calm, this was good.
The Emergency Calm The Hell Down material helped a lot too, once I remembered to use it.
Everything is connected. Repeat, repeat.
Agent White took off for the supermarket and said: “I’m going to breathe ease and plenty in the supermarket, trusting that doing this is somehow changing the fabric of the world around me.”
Right. Because even if it isn’t, doing it will make me feel better, which will change the feel and experience of every interaction I have with myself and with others.
The hard, challenging and mysterious.
- A thing I thought was two weeks away was actually one week away, and I may have fallen apart completely upon realizing this.
- I saved up for a dress and was so excited about it, then the day it arrived was also the day it went on sale for 50% off.
- Not knowing where we stand on Project X.
- The recovery from last week’s too-much-socialize.
- Gahhhhhh quarterly taxes, you are kicking my ass so hard right now.
- Trimetized. This is my new word for the traumas that result from riding Trimet. Heat plus children’s field trips plus crazy people plus being hit on in stupid ways plus that one woman who sat on me. Trimetized.
- Rhymes with headline.
- Rhymes with You Are So Trucked.
- Realizations about how much is too much right now (apparently anything), and having to readjust.
- The more I learn about taking care of my HSP self, the more information I have about optionsthat are no longer available to me.
- Monster brigade.
- 5am.
The good, reassuring and delights.
- Someone brought me a Snugglie to wear when I was cold, and I was very much against this plan. But it was the right costume for the right moment, and it did what it needed to do, and sometimes someone else knows what you need.
- The giant freakout about the [rhymes with headlines] was not fun, but it was useful. And it resulted in a remarkably productive three hours.
- Whatsit whatsit. I danced up a storm this week.
- The word Trimetized makes me happy, even if I don’t love the experience. And it reminds me to do more conscious entry and choosing Shelter when I ride public transportation.
- Friday night dinner with Tino, Richard, Doug and Kyle. Absolutely lovely.
- Sleepover.
- Sweet sweet sleep.
- I can do this. There is a way. Breathe.
- Movement.
- I don’t hate summer this year. This is big.
- Strawberries! My garden is full of strawberries!
- Adoration.
- Tuesday Fryday! It’s like Tuesday Friday, but better. YAY.
- Yoga with a companion in play.
- Going to the park with my two favorite people and swinging on the swings, and realizing that even though I think [certain situations] can’t change for the better, other situations have changed so quickly and so much for the better. Who am I to decide what is not possible?
- I am going somewhere warm to do some writing!
- A gigantic project that was completely stalled: finished! Ahead of schedule! This is huge.
- I have the best (and wisest) housemate/friend in the entire world.
- The Monkey.
- Heart full of appreciation. Release and receive. Release and receive.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of planting sweetness for Incoming me.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of everything gets to where it needs to be for now. This has to do with trust and listening.
Salve.
This week’s salve is the salve of Trust Receive Undo Create Key.
It holds all of these qualities individually and also all the connections between them.
For example, the ability to trust in undoings, or the ability to create keys. Or how to be a key that undoes things, or how to trust that you can receive keys. Do you see? ALL THE CONNECTIONS and ALL THE POSSIBILITIES.
It also knows exactly which you need in which amounts, and absorbs accordingly.
These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory has delivered enough to me to distribute by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is:
January Stew.
It’s mostly accordions.
Not sure how that really works because this band is actually just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. ANNOUNCEMENT.
Secret Sail of Emptying!
As part of my bigger process of [Emptying, Emptying] (and Replenishing), we are emptying and reconfiguring the Toy Shop at Stompopolis. It will still exist but smaller and in a different form.
I recommend that you pick up magical Potions from Heidi! We only have a few left. They’re kind of like the salves from the Friday Chicken, except real.
These are magic. She isn’t making them anymore, so these are the last supplies (that I know of).
They smell AMAZING. They make everything better (and softer). My personal favorites are Losing It and Presence, but they are all fantastic.
And we have Deborah’s crazy-wonderful sprays, just a few bottles left, some with the original Playground labels. If you have been to Rally (Rally!), you know that these work all kinds of miracles, even though it seems like they should really just work as symbolic reminders of the thing you want. They go deep.
Anyway, go here and get stuff that you will love. <3
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Visions #206: rhymes with trucked
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, evehttps://fluentself.com//wp-admin/admin.php?page=wordpress-related-posts&ref=adminbarn when asking feels conflicted.
I invariably discover useful information about my relationship with the thing I think I want, and with the experience of Wanting itself. Join in if you like….
What do I want?
The situation. And background.
I have two big [rhymes with headlines] coming up and I don’t know how these two things are going to get done in time, if at all.
And, unsurprisingly, the monsters and time gremlins have completely taken over. It is one giant monster trance party pride parade extravaganza in here (at least they’re having fun…).
And their favorite song to dance to has only one line — on repeat, at full volume. And it rhymes with You’re So Trucked.
Over and over again. You can’t do this. It’s not going to work. You’re So Trucked.
What I want.
So yes, it is possible that the dates will arrive, and the thing that, according to my perception of the world, needs to be done by then and by me, will not be done. That is one possibility.
However, the You’re So Trucked soundtrack is not helping me with the getting done. And it certainly won’t help if the reality turns out to be that I have to adjust to the idea of these things not being done.
What I want is to consciously, lovingly, playfully mess with and/or replace the current soundtrack.
For example, I could make up my own We’re So Trucked song, to a different tune. And really, as long as I say “trucked”, it’s already kind of better.
I could respond with: My Darlings, Nothing Is Trucked. A la the Big Lebowski.
Or: I’m so ____________________!
I’m so… in luck? I’m so…challenged in a really interesting and unusual way? I’m so…up for this crazy adventure? I’m so…receptive to miracles and good surprises? I’m so…willing to be surprised at how perfect simple solutions can show up for me?
Maybe TRUCK can become an acronym that stands for something secretly fabulous. In secret agent code. Trust Receive Undo Create Key.
Yeah baby. I’m SO TRUCKED. I’m trusting, receiving, undoing and creating keys.
The qualities inside of the wants:
I’m keeping the eight qualities from the past couple weeks, in the same order.
Trust. Release. Steadiness. Ground. Love. Receive. Miracles. Willingness.
And the superpower or sankalpa of remembering that I don’t know the ending yet, there are lots of ways this could work out.
Also the thing my wonderful uncle Svevo says about how the ROI on worry is traditionally pretty low.
What might help?
Commitment. Play. Readiness.
Operation 5am. Can we rename this?
Support from fellow agents. I might enlist this year’s Shellbacks from my Crossing the Line retreat to be my partners in crime on this. I suspect that playing with it at the Floop will help.
What else might help?
Yoga. Breathing. Conducting.
Eight breaths of Trust and Steadiness.
I’m playing with…
I’m allowed to feel scared, frustrated, whatever it is I’m feeling at any given moment. All feelings are legitimate. And: they are not the whole truth of my being or this experience. They are clues about truth, and they are also distortions of truth.
So as much as I want to focus on Getting The Things Done, my real focus needs to be remembering that I am safe and loved, remembering that I can trust my process as a human being, remembering that how I care for my internal kingdom is the real work.
What I want.
Some of these are secret agent code and some are taking a silent retreat on.
Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- Pause and breathe. Again. Again.
- Things get solved and resolved surprisingly quickly. Either they get done or they reveal solutions, or something shows up that means they don’t have to get done.
- Skipping all the stones.
- Fractal flowers.
- Writing time in large and small pockets.
- Ha, I didn’t think of that but now it’s making everything better.
- Solved!
Repeat-wishes
- Resting into miracles.
- Choosing quiet.
- Left-handed labyrinth.
- Perfect simple solutions, suddenly visible!
- Sound effects for my internal video game.
- Being at the 9&9, even when it isn’t nine or nine.
- Ahahaha I am an accidental genius! SOLVED.
- Well-rested: the first and best well.
- What do I need? What do I want?
- Sweet blissful steadiness.
- Things that need to exit now exit gracefully.
- Things that need to come in now are received with love.
The qualities inside of the wants:
Sustainability. Shelter. Focus. Plenty. Safety. Transition. Support. Flow.
And the superpower of eventually this level of the video game is going to be pleasurable for me, so why not start smiling now.
I ask for this one every week, but not bored of it yet: Seeing the secret holiness of everything.
Ways this could work.
It just can.
I’m playing with…
Asking for help. Giving myself permission to be a bit of a stressball, because you know what? This situation is actually super challenging, and however I react to it makes sense. Going to bed as early as possible.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Okay, last week..
Last week’s ask had to do with making peace (or peach) with being a HSP, and living with extreme sensitivities.
I got a lot of opportunities to practice this week, and that was hard but also good. So basically: I’m learning a lot.
And I am feeling good about everything that has been planted. Additionally my wishes to sleep like a happy baby and to show Tino beautiful pieces of Portland both came true in surprisingly magical ways.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #255: everything that needs to get a little softer
Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
This week, this week. So hard.
Well, for me.
Lots of challenge. Lots of pausing to breathe eight breaths.
What worked?
Pausing to breathe eight breaths.
Again and again and again.
Doing it with companionship.
A fellow agent. Texting a friend. The frolicsome bar (what I call our facebook page).
Body.
Setting up my day around when I get to descend to the floor for yoga and breathing.
“I don’t have to like it.”
This week I got lots of information about what I need to do in order to take care of myself.
And I did not like it. Lots of resistance, lots of frustration.
This phrase was a huge help to me.
“Okay, here’s some more information about what I need, and I don’t have to like it.”
Legitimacy. Permission. Acknowledgment.
Here’s where I’m at. I don’t have to like it. Here’s what I know. I don’t have to like it. This is how I feel. I don’t have to like it.
Next time I might…
Act in accordance with what I know to be true.
But I’m not there yet. So maybe not.
Next time I might remind myself of the consequences of not taking exquisite care of myself.
Next time I might give myself even more tenderness and compassion for the process of making changes.
Nap more.
Lots of process requires lots of rest and integration (for me), and this was one of the things that got pushed aside this week.
The hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Truth this week was simple and obvious, and I did not like it.
- Too many things.
- CAN I GET A PROGRESS REPORT ON THIS PLEASE. I do not know why it is so difficult for me to ask for information, but it is.
- Too much socialize.
- Too much input.
- Too much output.
- Too much noise.
- Too much everything.
- Realizations about how much is too much right now (apparently anything), and having to readjust.
- Sometimes being an HSP is hugely limiting.
- I had to miss a thing I’ve looked forward to for six years because I couldn’t handle the noise levels.
- I am not happy about the 15th.
- Seeing a thing I did not want to see.
- The Rose Garden. As in: the arena.
- I do not want to be doing any of the things I am doing right now.
- Seeing how much I have moved away from what I want, and not knowing if that is part of the labyrinth and actually I’m getting closer, or if I need to start again.
- Aaaaaaaauuuugh misunderstandings, they are the worst.
- Nightmares about then.
- Sadness about then.
The good, reassuring and delights.
- Truth this week was simple and obvious.
- I have a lot more information now about what I want and need in life. I don’t like it yet and I don’t have to like it, but at least I know.
- When I act in accordance with this information, things get better.
- I learned a lot about internal rules that I have that keep me from acting in accordance with this information, and this will help me undo them.
- I got to spend time with lots of people I love this week.
- Love.
- Companionship.
- Eight breaths.
- Joy and freedom are my allies.
- I ate a peach, and it was delicious. Summer. SUMMER. Delight.
- The Ballroom. It is a clue.
- An old friend came for four days and we got to reconnect.
- Strawberries in the garden.
- Deep intensity of feeling.
- Writing.
- Even though I do not do well in social situations, it turns out that if I madly adore each person involved, then it is much easier for me. There is hope. Actually, I am fine in social situations while they are happening. It is after they end that I feel exhausted and miserable.
- Dance.
- Adoration.
- Moments of pure trust.
- Questions that were the right questions.
- Idaho.
- Silence and pleasure.
- This bus is the best damn bus ever. Worth waiting for. What else in my life is worth waiting for?
- I am ready to trust my process as a human being. Yes.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of seeing what I want and what I don’t want very, very clearly.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of retreating.
Salve.
This week’s salve is the salve of softening.
Everything that needs to get a little softer just gets a little softer.
These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory has delivered enough to me to distribute by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is:
Schutzblech Mixer-Mixer.
They are the fender-blenders of east Germany, and they make a lot of noise.
And, not unsurprisingly, it turns out that this band is actually just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. ANNOUNCEMENT.
I am going to recommend the Monster Coloring Book and Manual. It makes things better.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Visions #205: born this way
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I invariably discover useful information about my relationship with the thing I think I want, and with the experience of Wanting itself. Join in if you like….
What do I want?
The situation. And background.
I have been trying to write this for three days now, and I keep getting tangled up in my own frustration.
Which I guess is probably a sign that the ask this week is about that, and not the thing I think it is about.
It has to do with being a Highly Sensitive Person, and it has to do with living life with and around that.
It has to do with my desire to respect my sensitivities (because the consequences are hell), and it has to do with my recent sense of frustration about limitations, real and perceived, due to these sensitivities.
What I want, really, is a new relationship with how I take care of myself.
And a combination of peacefulness and legitimacy for the big feelings that I’m feeling right now about this.
What I want.
To move from the grief of I Don’t Get To into the freedom, release and joy of I Don’t Have To.
To acknowledge the pain.
Recognizing that I can’t be coaxed or prodded into gratitude and appreciation, ore even perspective. I have to get there in my own time and my own way. So I want patience with that, and support.
And trust. That I will find my way through and around this. That I will be able to give myself what I need, and that this feeling of helplessness and frustration will pass.
The qualities inside of the wants:
I’m keeping last week’s eight qualities, in the same order.
Trust. Release. Steadiness. Ground. Love. Receive. Miracles. Willingness.
And the superpower or sankalpa of quiet lives inside of me.
What might help?
What I got from yoga yesterday was:
There is joy and freedom in everything. Give it time to show itself. Work within what you have been given. You don’t have to like it. Just agree that this is where you’re at.
Agent White asked: “What is the flip side to this perception of restriction and limitation?”
And I wasn’t ready for the question. So maybe my wish is to become ready for that question.
What else might help?
Yoga. Breathing. Conducting. Compass. Quiet. Less.
Water. Trust. Napping. Asking. Entering. Playing. Waiting.
Emptying. Releasing.
Less. Less. Less. Less. Less.
I’m playing with…
I’m allowed to not like this. I’m allowed to have a rough time even formulating what it is that is driving me crazy about this.
If I had been born with one arm, I’d be finding ways to make this work for me. So how can I make this work for me?
What I want.
Some of these are secret agent code and some are taking a silent retreat on.
Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.
- A beautiful week.
- Everything I need is right here.
- Skipping all the stones.
- Showing Tino beautiful pieces of Portland.
- Writing time.
- Good news and more good news.
- Presence and play.
- Agency.
- Breathing and releasing.
- Time and space.
- Little corners of sweetness.
- Sleep like a happy baby.
Repeat-wishes
- Resting into miracles.
- Choosing quiet.
- Left-handed labyrinth.
- Perfect simple solutions, suddenly visible!
- Sound effects for my internal video game.
- Being at the 9&9, even when it isn’t nine or nine.
- Ahahaha I am an accidental genius! SOLVED.
- Well-rested: the first and best well.
- What do I need? What do I want?
- Sweet blissful steadiness.
- Things that need to exit now exit gracefully.
- Things that need to come in now are received with love.
The qualities inside of the wants:
Same as last time.
Curiosity. Shelter. Wonder. Plenty. Appreciation. Release. Sustenance. Play.
And the superpower of I see around things.
I ask for this one every week, but not bored of it yet: Seeing the secret holiness of everything.
Ways this could work.
It just can.
I’m playing with…
Joy and freedom. Writing these on the palms of my hands.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Okay, last week..
Everything I asked for last week about receiving and releasing was amazing. Many miracles and surprises.
I got some good news. Tetris was fun. Agent White and I shared yoga every single day.
And I am feeling good about everything that has been planted. Additionally I’m convinced that everything I’m having trouble with now is part of the next step of the emptying and releasing I’ve been doing. It’s all progress, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Playing. Shelter for the comments.
What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.
I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.
We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.
This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.
That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!
As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.
xox
Friday Chicken #254: try saying strawberry fields without the forever, it’s pretty much impossible
Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
This week had a funny shape to it.
Work days had elements of vacation, weekend was full of work. And now suddenly we’re here. Hello. Deep breath. Friday. I’m here.
What worked?
Committing to the elements without being married to the timing.
I had to move a meeting to Fake Beach Day, which meant that Fake Beach Day couldn’t happen.
So I made a clear commitment to giving myself the elements of Fake Beach Day all week.
And then I invited myself to go strawberry picking on Toozday with Roller Eclipse and Draggin Lady, and we ended up spending a lovely two hours on the beach. So there. Fake Beach Day happened anyway, and on an actual beach.
The word release.
This week had some sad goodbyes but my focus was on the experience of letting go, and that made everything sweeter.
Companionship.
Usually my yoga happens alone, but this week I shared it with Agent X from the other Agency. This was really lovely.
Next time I might…
Ask for company.
So much letting go right now.
Sometimes it’s just easier when someone else is there.
Remove myself from the situation.
Sometimes when someone else is in their stuff, it is easier to back off and breathe so that you can offer them loving steadiness, instead of jumping in and ending up in your stuff.
That is a note for myself.
The hard, challenging and mysterious.
- Still more emptying.
- Tetris: everything is moving.
- Too many moving parts
- I want to play in the park and walk in the sun, not work! Wah!
- A number so low that it should not even exist, other than as a theoretical concept for mathematicians to enjoy.
- I have three options and I prefer #3, but I think I might end up with #2.
- Sometimes not-working requires a lot of work.
- How did June get to be so full so fast?
- I want more time to play.
- Too much social.
- Oh, hormones. Are we still doing this?
- Seeing just how much these roots need nourishing.
- A disagreement-misunderstanding that needed to take its sweet time to untangle…
The good, reassuring and delights.
- EMPTYING. I’m kind of getting good at this.
- Operation Tetris is getting to be more fun. A lot more fun. Creative and freeing. Plus I now have a gorgeous mahogany dresser.
- Svevo was here! Svevo is my favorite person in the entire world, and he came for THREE WHOLE DAYS, and it was wonderful.
- Svevo and I spent two and a half hours playing in the park and doing yoga on all the playground equipment. Then we napped in the grass and the trees shared some secrets with me. I suspect it was because Svevo was there.
- Ruckus Instigator! Best nickname ever. Thank you, playmate, for bestowing it on me.
- My cousin Noah is turning out to be way more fun than I ever gave him credit for. We are co-conspirators in the best secret missions right now.
- Treehouse time.
- London Brawlin came to town to take on Wheels of Justice. It was a messy, messy bout, but fascinating to watch. And we won. So there was that.
- Strawberry picking. On Sauvie Island and in my own garden.
- Monsieur LeBlanc of the Other Agency and I had more fun this week than should be allowed. Our missions are vital and glamorous and hilarious.
- Long, slow yoga in Stompopolis every day.
- I wore short shorts in public. Take that, debilitating premenstrual body dysmorphia! You didn’t work on me this month.
- Meeting with Hope.
- I knew about Option 1 and I didn’t love it. Now I know about Option 2 and Option 3, and I am very, very excited. Especially about Option 3, but mostly about the idea that now that I have let go of the thing I thought I wanted, perfect simple solutions are showing themselves.
- Richard is the greatest friend and accomplice I could ask for. I felt appreciative of that this week.
- Happy.
Superpowers!
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of finding the good.
And also the superpower of knowing that the missed bus was not my bus.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of trusting that silence and a loving smile is both a sufficient response and a good one.
Salve.
This week’s salve is the salve of things that didn’t make sense before are clear now. When you put it on, suddenly you know why you bought that purple sweater, and you love yourself for having done it instead of wondering what was wrong with you.
This salve smells a bit of clove and mystery.
Sometimes the things that didn’t make sense are clear and you don’t know why they’re clear, you just feel better about everything. And sometimes you see how all the pieces fit together. It is a very comforting salve.
These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory has delivered enough to me to distribute by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is:
Renewable Wow
Light, fun, pop. They sound like bubblegum.
And it’s actually just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. ANNOUNCEMENT.
The Sail of Emptying. We’re dropping five products from the online store. They’re available through the 11th, which is really soon, and then they’re gone.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.