Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

My god, Friday. Where have you been all week?

And why are you so beautiful? I have needed this.

This week, as is often the case, the hard and the good are all intertwined.

What worked?

Centerpiece.

The thing I loved during my time at the Vicarage was two long slow sweet hours of yoga every afternoon in my hotel room, looking out at the water. I never get time like that at home. I never take time like that at home.

I decided that this week, I would make my physical practice the centerpiece of each day, instead of the thing I try to squeeze in between all the other things. Time to breathe and be body, time to be present in the home that is me. This is where I live.

Not the thing I’ll get to if there’s time. The CENTERPIECE.

It required starting my day thinking “when do I get to descend to the floor?” as my first and most important question. It required letting go of so many other things. It required talking to all the time gremlins.

It wasn’t always a long period of time. But it was sweet and slow, full of play, presence and aliveness. In the garden, in my bedroom, on the floor at Stompopolis. Filling the world and my world with adoration. This worked. Centerpiece.

Emptying.

The answer to every single thing that came up this week was empty more.

Empty more.

Next time I might…

Empty more.

Let go let go let go.

Emptying and replenishing. The emptying part is important. Empty to receive. Empty to make room to receive. Empty to know that there will be more. That’s what I’m working with.

The hard, challenging and mysterious.

• Emptying. Oh dear god so much emptying.
• The Sweet Reconfiguring.
• Letting go of the thing I thought I’d never let go of: goodbyes are sad.
• The number zero.
• I just want to sleep.
• The one year anniversary of a deep internal knowing that I hadn’t wanted to hear.
• A thing I have never considered (and do not want) came up as a possibility, and I had to recognize that I would make a different choice in this situation than the one I thought I would make.
• There are people who do not understand.
• Oh, identity stuff. Blah.
• Someone I love is in their stuff about my silence (but it’s not really about that, of course), and there is nothing I can do about it except love and love more.
• Transition back from Vicarage is so very hard. I miss the way time works at the Vicarage.
• Restrictions and limitations on time. Or: perceived restrictions and limitations on everything.
• Hahahahahahaha I know what I want and it terrifies me.
• Surrender. Let go. Let go some more. I’m getting better at this (because of all the ************* practice this year!), but oh it can be hard to be with the broken pots, never mind to smile at them.

The good, reassuring and delights.

• EMPTYING. Who knew? Emptying. This is right.
• The Sweet Reconfiguring. It is exactly what needed to be reconfigured and it is reconfiguring in the exact right way. This is right. This moment is right.
• Letting go of the thing I thought I’d never let go of: surrender and release. So freeing. I thought I’d never not-be-attached to it, but look: here we are. Not attached. Just loving what it was and what it may be again, not needing it to be a certain way. Liberation and sweetness, play and presence. I can do this.
• “I trust the ground.” <---- REPEAT-REPEAT.
• Homecomings. Many variations, all lovely.
• I drank like a mermaid! This marvelous phrase courtesy of my playmate in the forest.
• Treehouse time.
• Naps as Portalbridges to whatever I need.
• I am the ally of this bus. I am a reverberating bell.
• Heat and more heat.
• Long, slow yoga in the garden. Kissing my ankles. Breathing earth. Hello, tiny slug.
• Did some [field configuring] and had a giant epiphany about a perfect, simple, elegant solution so obvious I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it before. Not only is it the best option, it’s really kind of the only option.
• I’ll meet you at the 9&9.
• Breathing trust and steadiness.
• There are people who understand!!!
• There are people who support the thing that I want, and do not say that it is ridiculous or impossible.
• Another pot breaks, I smile at the broken pot, and I hear the sound effects of the video game. Jingling coins and rainbow whooshes. I am getting better at this level of Smiling At The Broken Pots, Goodbye Everything Leaving My Life. I can feel my brain changing.
• I was deeply vulnerable and spoke a secret heart-truth, and it was okay.
• This week I made taking care of myself the centerpiece of my day, not something I squeeze in at the edges. That was new and crazy and perfect.

Superpowers!

A superpower I had this week…

The superpower of being conscious and loving with time, and how I make choices about time.

This is a NEW ONE.

And also the superpower of letting things leave without grasping. Just for seconds, here and there, but I felt it and my heart was warm.

And a superpower I want next week.

The superpower of pausing to breathe before I am in distress.

Salve.

This week’s salve is the salve of secretly knowing what to let go of, and how it can peacefully slide away. It is a shedding salve. It smells like comfort and feels like softness.

I expected it to be exfoliating but it’s pure moisture. It takes care of you. And then while you sleep, the things that need to leave find their way out of your system.

Molecules reconfigure. New majestic glowing boundaries are the result of this salve. I recommend it.

These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory has delivered enough to me to distribute by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band by way of Richard. They’re called:

Belligerent Catfish

They’re a loud messy bluegrass-cajun combo, and they’ll have you dancing all night with their raucous ways.

Which is weird, because as it turns out, it’s somehow actually just one guy. Get the album: Knife Made Of Butter.

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. ANNOUNCEMENT.

A number of years ago, some super biggified internet person announced she was pulling down a bunch of products.

I thought this was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. They’re ebooks and mp3s. They don’t take up shelf space. Why?!

But now I realize it’s about harmoniousness and congruence. Emptying in order to replenish. It’s letting go of all the (beautiful, valuable, sweet, important) things that are not coming with you on the next voyage, because in order to get to the next place, you need to begin differently.

So. The Sail of Emptying. We’re dropping five products from the online store. They’re available for the next week or so, and then they’re gone.

I will explain more soon, and there’s also some information on the page. Apologies for the outdated copy on some of the pages, I didn’t update because, well, because this is what is leaving.

There’s some really fantastic material here, and I personally love love love the Taos ebook. Anyway, my sail of Emptying. Enjoy enjoy.

That’s it for me …

Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!

We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.