What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Friday Chicken #164: wait, HOW many playful koooshhuns?
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Man. It is blowing my mind that we are already at Friday.
This week has been intense.
But here we are.
Let’s see what happened.
The hard stuff
Slept through the entire weekend.
This is mostly a good thing, because I needed it.
And really, after the wonderful and packed insanity of the Shiva Nata training, I really needed all the recovery I could get.
Alas it was too short, as restorative periods of time go. And I have no idea what happened on the weekend because I was asleep for pretty much the entire time.
Oh my goodness this week was so FULL.
Full of marvelous. But still just really full.
I didn’t get enough time to myself.
And I didn’t get nearly enough time to assimilate and consolidate, so that’s really what I’m craving now.
No dance class for three days!
Usually during Rally I just turn my world upside down and get to dance classes at weird and uncomfortable hours.
This time I decided that I really just wanted to be fully present with rallying, and went cold turkey on my addiction.
I still made sure I got high, medium, low and negative-ten-to-the-negative-tenth-power impact aerobic activity every day.
There was lots of Shiva Nata (fast and slow), tramping, walking, stretching, some weight training and, of course, old Turkish lady yoga.
But I missed my class. And I missed jumping around. And I missed that glorious thing that is big, crazy movement.
And it’s going to hurt tomorrow.
A deficiency of something I needed.
With the resulting depletion.
And the (somewhat astonishing) amount of time it took me to realize what was going on.
I still want something I can’t have.
So there’s that.
Associated grumblethrum monsters have a lot to say about that, so we’re in ongoing negotiations.
And now I need to sleep for about two weeks straight.
Half the monsters say I-told-you-so, and the other half are just snickering because they think the idea of being able to rest before all that stuff is done is so unacceptable that it’s actually funny.
We’ll see how that goes. Onward to the good!
The good stuff
Rally! Rally! Rally! Rally! Ohmygod.
All Rallies are special and different and unexpected and delight-filled.
But this one was just out of control. In the best possible way. Rally! Rally!
Fifteen of us. Not counting assorted duck co-teachers, rabbits, butt-monsters, owls, an Anna-Tiger and a very opinionated Schmoppet.
We giggled and flailed and hummed and discovered things and kind of fell in love with each other.
It was a magical, magical, magical Rally Rally!. And it gave birth to all sorts of brand new rallying traditions and customs.
I am floating on happy.
The epiphanies have been massive and life-changing.
Between all the Shiva Nata we did at the training, and all the Shiva Nata we did at Rally, it’s like all of my inside workings are getting reconfigured.
But in a really great way where everything is better now.
The things I know about my project and my world and the incredibly subversive culture I’m in the process of growing/planting — this is huge.
I don’t even know how to begin to describe the things I realized and understood during this Rally, but YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!
Like that.
Things that make me happy.
Guess what I found out?
That two different shivanauts from my Shiva Nata training had already each taught their first classes in the first two days after the training!
And had fun doing it too.
Yay!
Incredible shivanautical experiences.
Like the class where we played Count the Count.
We came up with a number, a noun and an adjective to associate with each hand position.
Then we alternated between multiplying and adding these together in various combinations and sequences while doing the movements.
Also we did this in the voice of the Count from Sesame Street:
Eight Loud mugs! Seven Comforting Butt-monsters! Seeeeeeeeeks Pirate Fairy Doors! Five Loving Monkeys! Four Accepting Lamps! Threeeeeee Playful Cushions! Two Spontaneous Tassels! Vun Delight-filled Wheel! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahhhhhhh chhhsphbpflw!
And then we did Level 3 where you name each position in four different ways.
So if you’re starting at 2:7:
Two-seven, Twenty seven, Nine, Fourteen.
Get it? So each number got four variations. And then of course you do sixteen movements to return to the starting position, so you have to speak sixty four number combinations to get there.
Also we were doing this just unbelievably fast.
The side effects were MANY and also kind of crazy. But again, it was really really great.
Singing!
This Rally ended up with lots of spontaneous singing, and we had a little song circle.
The singing was absolutely amazing.
I mean, there’s always (optional, obviously!) singing at Rally to some extent, but this was a very song-filled Rally.
Creative bursts!
Of play!
I got more done this week than I’ve ever gotten done ever. Like, in my life.
And I’m at Rally every month, so I’m already used to getting ridiculous amounts of things done. This was a whole new level of done-getting.
Systems fixes and perfect simple solutions.
Like finding the exact right tiny cash register on ebay.
Or fixing the avatar problems in the Chattery!
Hooray.
A super fun photo shoot with Kylie.
Because Kylie was at Rally!
We went to the park and took a million trillion pictures. In costume, of course. And despite the fact that I have way too many kinds of stuck around being photographed, I enjoyed every bit of it.
This is the second time we’ve had a photographer at Rally, and both times it has been a blast.
And maybe I’ll even show you some of the pictures too.
The new cherry red decorative happiness in my dressing room.
My pirate queen quarters at the Playground have become my dressing room.
But there was this really ugly door.
And now there is bright red molding that goes around the doorframe, and now my door is beautiful and cheery, and the entire room has somehow completely been transformed because of it.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band comes to us from TJ. Yes, the same TJ who got me to write about the 30 things I love right now. He’s everywhere.
Chaos and Glorious Hats
They’re playing in town all week. Except that it’s really just one guy.
(Not to be confused with a different show called Chaos and The Glorious Hats which is what happens when Chaos appears with a separate group. Which is also just one guy.)
You know what else I loved this week?
“They sat their asses down, didn’t they?”
And:
“Right now I’m leaning towards ‘schripituality.’”
Announcement time!
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
- Reminder: Rally prices have to go up in 2012. Sooner than it sounds. And Rallies are filling up fast. So take a look at the SCHEDULE for this new year and make a Gwish about when/how.
- The whisper-brunch is happening for Crossing the Line: the 8 Day Voyage! (password: haulaway). I recommend signing up before I have a chance to write the copy for this. The bonuses are better that way.
- If you don’t have an iPhone, go to a bar and befriend someone who does. And then make them get the Shiva Nata iPhone app so you can flail around fabulously while they’re in the bathroom.
I think that’s everything. If not, I’ll let you know in the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
The Book of Superpowers.
So a while ago I wrote about superpowers.
Actually, I write about superpowers kind of a lot. Remember Joseph? That kid was the best.
Superpowers are important.
When we’re rallying it up at Rally (Rally!), we invent/invoke superpowers all the time.
Usually while we’re Schmurphling, which involves throwing things (badly) and also butt-monsters.
Anyway, I need to tell you about this so that I can describe this new and marvelous thing that is the Book of Superpowers.
Or possibly the Anthology of Superpowers. It has not been decided yet.
Local customs regarding superpowers….
In my mostly-imaginary cultural tour guide to the fascinating world of the Playground, there would definitely be a very thorough and ever-expanding section about local customs.
So pretend this is the section about Superpowers.
As you might imagine, there are certain agreed-upon conventions of this process of naming superpowers at Rally.
Here they are:
- You can always declare silent retreat! You don’t have to come up with superpowers.
- Superpowers are not finite. If someone else names a superpower that you would like to have, you can have it too. There is enough for everyone.
- No, really. Consciously deciding to bring the power that someone else asked for into your life/space/force-field does not in any way diminish their power.
- There is no limit on how many superpowers you can have. Lovingly examine the internal rules that say if you have X, you have to give up Y.
- We always invoke the superpower of being able to believe that you’re allowed to have more superpowers!
- If you don’t want anyone to know what superpowers you desire, you can secretly think of superpowers and throw them into the pot. Or bring them to the fountain.
And there are always bonus superpowers for anyone who wants…
In fact, let’s name some superpowers right now.
Because then it will be even more awesome when I tell you the next part.
These are just SOME of the superpowers we have called upon at this September Rally (Rally #13!).
And we’re not even done. We have all of today. With another two rounds of madcap Shivanauttery, not to mention the Final Chickening.
But here are some.
“The superpower I’d like to have right now is…”
- To make myself perfectly understood at all times.
- To know everything there is to know about the healing properties of sparkles…
- Being receptive to what is already there.
- Ignoring what other people think.
- The power of being able to talk to plants and receive their truth and believe everything they say.
- Super visual clarity: to see into the heart of the matter without obfuscations.
- Power, strength and balance.
- To be able to communicate my New York elbows without having to explain!
- The ability to start anything I’m afraid of (just to start!).
- To be in many places at once.
- Instant relaxation!
- To remember to take care of myself while traveling.
- Internal earplugs for all internal chatter — they also keep out other people’s stuff.
- A force field accessory that allows in those select few ideas that will make my project easier and keeps out the ones that will make it harder.
- Transposition! Switching places with people when it’s mutually beneficial and agreed-upon.
- I can instantly appear anywhere someone is talking about me.
- Unstoppable serenity!
- To conjure a bubble of silence and darkness at will — no sensory input!
- Agility.
- Overnight recovery.
- Instant awesome hairdo change at will!
- Always knowing what to do next.
- To really and truly believe in my superpowers.
Here’s the neat part.
And not just from this Rally, but from every Rally we’ve had.
The superpowers we call on end up coming true in some weird and unlikely way.
Or sometimes in a really obvious way (because epiphanies are stooopid!).
And sometimes even in a literal and immediate way.
The person who asked for balance and strength discovered the next morning that it was suddenly WAY easier to get up the stairs in his chair.
The person who asked for the ability to fall asleep instantly got her wish the very next night.
The person from two Rallies ago who channeled the superpower of being able to appreciate softness ended up filling her house with cushions after Rally, and now she really does appreciate softness.
Some powers take longer to figure out. But it’s always neat to name them and watch them float around the Playground like buoyant, colorful, happy bubbles.
So. The Anthology of Superpowers.
It’s so much fun to discover what superpowers people think of, crave, desire, invent, and gwish into being.
And not just fun, but often really moving or inspiring.
So I am collecting.
And we are going to make a giant binder at Rally.
With one or two powers to a page. And maybe illustrations, if people feel like illustrating.
Until we have a massive accumulation of collective superpowers to flip through, read and choose from. And add to!
I am very excited about this. It will be the companion book to the PLUM (the Playground User Manual) and to the Book of Yum (the growing compendium of good things to eat in the neighborhood).
Also one day it might be another coloring book. We’ll see.
Superpowers help.
This particular Rally isn’t even over yet, but the results, realizations, epiphanies and surprises people are already having this week are shiny and amazing.
Including:
- The person who discovered their book. Discovery!
- “Oh! I can nap on my issues instead of napping to avoid them: napping can be a way of planting solutions!”
- Someone finished a project on the first day that she’d thought would take her all week!
- “The realization that the thing I thought I hate most is sometimes also the thing I crave/need.”
- “Some desires that I thought were paradoxical can actually help each other out. They can co-exist!”
- After a day of interacting with some walls and creatively sneaking around the stuck, one woman then accomplished “a year’s worth of personal growth and about six weeks of project work in about two hours”
Yes, Rally is outrageously great for so many reasons. But you know what really helps? All the superpowers floating around.
And the way the naming of the powers you want lets you identify the ones you already have.
Play with me! And comment zen for today…
If you would like to invent and invoke superpowers and list them here, you are welcome to. That would be awesome.
If you would like to take any of the superpowers that I mentioned, go for it. There is enough to go around.
If you would like to say “SILENT RETREAT!!!”, just because you can, that’s cool too.
We all have our stuff. We let everyone have their stuff. We don’t tell each other what to do or how to feel. We play.
Tiny Rally-related postscripts!
- If you’re longing to escape American Thanksgiving, there’s 1 spot left for the extra-long Great Ducking Out Rally. Next week we’ll probably open registration for November 2012.
- According to a note from the First Mate, 2012 Rallies are filling up. The ones closest to getting slapped with an orange SOLD OUT sticker: January, March, April and June.
- The list of dates for the 2012 Rallies: on the Rally page. Rally! Prices go up in January.
- If you need a Stowawayship Scholarship-ship, go here.
I think that’s everything!
Love, as always, to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
Meta.
So right now it’s Rally (Rally!).
This is Rally #13.
Which is rather an astonishing number of Rallies to have rallied, if you think about it. Didn’t we just come up with the idea?!
And we — that is to say, me, fourteen other people and Selma the duck — are all here at the Playground and we are rallying the Rally together. Rally!
Except, of course, that I’m also [verb]-ing the Rally at the same time, because I am the captain of this crazy ship. The captain and the adventure-channeler and the one who knows the lyrics of the secret songs and also the keeper of the PLUM.
It’s complicated. But it’s also very simple.
This is a post about under the surface.
Last night.
Last night was Erev Rally.
That is to say: Rally Eve.
Rally always begins the night before. On a Monday.
Erev Rally is when we embark. We set off.
If you are not familiar with the concept of Erev, I would love it if you’d read this gorgeous, perfect poem that goes straight into my heart and resets something every time. All of it.
We sail forth on our grand adventure, without yet knowing what it is or where we are going.
We embark and we orient ourselves within this process of embarking. We wave at the shore. We make separations. We learn about spaciousness and buffers.
It is silly and lighthearted. It is full of the power of beginning.
Last night.
Every once in a while during this process of Erev, as we go through the rituals and practices of Embarkation-Orientation, we stop and look at what we’re doing.
I like to sometimes throw in a bit of hey let’s analyze what we’re doing while we’re doing it, for an extra kick of meta.
Like: why are we searching for Clews? What is the hidden purpose of Schmurphling? Or Away, Rio!, for that matter.
Because, as you might imagine, there is a point to everything I do.
Actually, there are many points to everything I do. You can always assume method to madness. There is always a clear and loving intention.
So sometimes we talk about that. (And, no big surprise, there’s a point to that too.)
You know what I love?
People’s ideas, theories and answers about why we’re doing what we’re doing are always different.
Not only that, but this: in any given group, people can easily come up with 30 or 40 creative and varying reasons for what my sneaky, nefarious purposes might be.
And each group will come up with different types of reasons than the last group. It’s fascinating.
No one is ever wrong. There isn’t really a wrong. It’s just an ever-growing collection of possible and likely reasons.
And the reason behind the reasons is always this:
Anything I do or say at Rally is intended to transmit something about the (sparkly, mysterious and marvelous) culture of being on Rally and being at the Playground.
It’s a code. It’s a shorthand. It’s a transmission system.
So, for example, Rally culture and Playground culture share a lot of qualities:
Play. Inspiration. Creativity. Spaciousness. Safety. Comfort. Wonder.
Delight. Sovereignty. Permission. Amnesty. Sanctuary. Freedom.
Exploration. Discovery. Light-heartedness. Focus. Grounding. Sustainability. Adaptability. Flow.
Chaos. Form. Joy. Presence. Receptivity. Glee. Quiet. Replenishing. Warmth. Color. Possibility.
But it’s better for Rally if we do things that somehow demonstrate what that feels like than it is for me to lecture about culture.
The things I do while [verb]-ing Rally are designed to emit culture. To help the culture get louder.
And once you know that, you can look for the qualities hiding in plain sight in each experience.
So let’s apply that here.
Obviously hanging out on the blog is different than being at Rally.
For one thing, there’s no Refueling Station. No hammocks (other than imaginary and/or metaphorical ones). No visible fairy doors. No Costumery. Our costumes here are imaginary.
And no pretzel sticks. It’s also much harder to acquire a butt-monster.
But the culture is still very similar. In some ways, Rally is an extension of this blog.
So.
If you assume that everything I say or do here online also has a purpose…
And if you already know that this purpose is to make it possible for you to have an energy-experience or even a tangible experience of this culture…
Then let’s talk about how I do that. It’s a meta-party of meta!
What I’d like today. And comment zen for the blanket fort!
Any examples you can come up with of things that I do or say on the blog or elsewhere on this site.
And how they give you a sense of the qualities which live here.
(Whatever you happen to think of is totally fine by me. And the archives are at your disposal, if you need them.)
If you don’t feel like joining in out loud, no worries. You can always call Silent Retreaaaaaat! Or just whisper it.
- You can also tell Rally stories, if you’ve been on Rally.
-
Or make a Gwish about someday. That works too.
As always, we all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process.
We make room for everyone else to have their stuff, and we make this a safe space by taking responsibility for our own stuff and by not giving advice.
postscripts!
- One day I’d really love to do a Meta-meta Rally, where all we do is analyze Rally and examine rallying while we rally. That would be so awesome.
- If you’re longing to escape/rewrite American Thanksgiving, there are 2 spots left for the extra-long Great Ducking Out Rally.
- Also: 5 spots left for the January Rally, I believe.
- The list of dates for the 2012 Rallies: on the Rally page. Rally! Prices go up in January, so sign up early.
- If you need a Stowawayship Scholarship-ship, go here.
That’s all.
Love, as always, to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
Very Personal Ads #114: easily and graciously
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Today some of my Very Personal Ads are for the world in addition to being for me.
But really, all Very Personal Ads are for the world.
That’s because they’re about our relationship with desire and our relationship with ourselves.
And as we pay attention to these relationships, we change how we interact with everything. Just throwing that into the pot. This week’s VPAs!
Thing 1: peacefulness in this time of pain, for anyone who needs it.
Here’s what I want:
That is what I want.
Ways this could work:
Reminding myself of my vast internal world and my vast internal resources. The places where peacefulness is as readily available as anything else.
Wishing it for the world. Not forcing it on anyone. Not whooshing it at people.
Just putting it into the world, so that it is there for anyone who wants to partake in it.
My commitment.
To breathe peacefulness.
To do some old Turkish lady yoga on this, and some Shiva Nata for the pattern-untangling parts.
To remember why this is important.
Thing 2: a gumball machine for the Playground.
Here’s what I want:
The Playground needs a coin-operated old-fashioned gumball machine, ideally on a wooden base. An old-timey candy-dispensing contraption!
It just does.
Ways this could work:
Maybe one of my people has seen one, heard of one or knows where one lives.
Maybe it will magically show up on Craigslist or something.
Maybe someone will come up with the perfect, simple solution.
My commitment.
To wish the wish and be receptive to the many ways that things could work out.
Thing 3: making separations easily and graciously
Here’s what I want:
In times of collective grief, pain, despair and challenge, it is very easy for me to get derailed.
I can slip into external grooves or get pulled into another orbit instead of staying in mine.
I have the tendency to let my own pain become amplified and merge with everyone else’s pain.
This is the downside (ha, one of them) to the many and shining gifts that come with being highly sensitive.
I have spent many years working on getting to know my superpowers and figuring out how to function with them. And the thing that is always true is this:
It is vital that I separate out my pain from everyone else’s pain. And that I release everything that isn’t mine.
This week involves making even more separations than usual. I would like this to happen easily and graciously.
Ways this could work:
I can do my rituals.
I can write about it.
I can make safe rooms.
I can play with creating closeness through intentional separations.
My commitment.
To take care of myself.
To remember that the majority of what I feel does not actually belong to me, and I can release it.
Thing 4: restocking the Toy Shop
Here’s what I want:
Between the renovations we did to the Toy Shop and my new shopkeeper’s hat, the shop nearly got cleaned out at last week’s Shiva Nata training.
We definitely need to order some more butt-monsters pronto. And we’re running low on a lot of other things too.
Ways this could work:
Maybe this week at Rally (Rally!), I can order some new things.
Maybe we’ll empty out what we have and bring in new inventory.
Maybe there are lots of surprises.
My commitment.
To spend time in the Toy Shop, talking to it and finding out what it wants to become.
Thing 5: implementation
Here’s what I want:
Ohmylord I have been having the most massive epiphanies and realizations ever due to all the intense-intense Shiva Nata we did at last week’s training.
And now I am on an order-and-reordering rampage. I am high on organic forms of order.
And I am addressing a pile of Gwishes in the form of a stack of messy notes. What is in this pile for me? How does it wish to find order? What are the clues and where is the treasure?
What needs to be set free? WHAT NEEDS TO BE SET FREE? I want to sing this to the sun.
For the first time ever, I am not dreading a pile or forcefully saying YES LET’S DO THIS or talking myself into meeting a pile. I am running towards it like in a slow motion movie sequence. I am galloping off into the woods with it. I am coming to a cafe to sit across from it and hold its hand.
Hello, pile. Hello, forces of order, chaos, coming apart and re-ordering. Hello, universe of molecules. Hello, universe inside of my being.
Anyway, I want all these realizations and re-orderings to get implemented.
See?! This kind of crazy, wonderful, inexplicable, untranslatable nuttiness is why it’s impossible to write “copy” for how great a Shiva Nata training is. IT WILL GIVE YOU THE BRAIN AND HEART YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU WANTED. I am already wondering what kind of messed up stuff I’ll be saying after the next one.
Ways this could work:
During Rally (Rally!). It could be part of my thing-that-is-a-project.
I don’t know.
I just want to watch all the new order to come in like the best tetris game ever.
My commitment.
To continue to be wowed by this process.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
I wanted more walking. Which didn’t so much happen this week since I was teaching and it was crazy hot. But this morning I walked for an hour. It’s on my mind, and this is good.
Then I wanted to rewrite the Pickle Page and it’s written. If you apply to Crossing the Line — the link is “haulaway” and this is only the whisper-brunch page— you’ll get to read it. It is the best Pickle Page ever.
I needed a body/systems plan, and it worked out great.
Also I wanted the whisper-brunching to happen quietly and it did! Also I wrote a love letter. Thank you!
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Things that are welcome! Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #162: Kapowsh Kapowsh!
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
It can’t be Friday because in my head it’s still Wednesday.
But here we are.
Apparently.
Happy Friday! Let’s do this.
The hard stuff
Still too many things to do.
Overwhelming!
Plus there is always so much sadness and grief about the things that don’t get done. Even though, when you think about it, there will always be things in that category.
I mourned some of the not-doing this week.
Exhaustion.
So tired. So very tired.
I don’t even know what to say about that.
The building next door to the Playground is not done doing renovations.
Apparently they will never be done. They’ve been renovating since we moved in (fifteen months ago!).
And, according to the latest from my neighbors in the building, they’ve been doing this for at least NINE YEARS.
We’re going to have to sing the buttmonster song to make it better.
Ignored my bedtime.
I wanted so so badly to see Sharon Van Etten. I’ve pretty much stopped going to shows since the Nick Cave thing, because my needs to preserve my hearing, breathe steadily and be able to sit down are stronger than my desire to be present with the music while it’s happening.
Plus I really need to get enough sleep.
And if that makes me boring and old, I can deal with that.
So this show was going to be at 10pm, which is about half an hour past my bedtime.
But I had to go! And it was a tiny, special show. In a bar. Where I could sit. And not be overrun by throngs of people. Which is basically music heaven for a highly sensitive person.
Except, of course, that it didn’t actually start until 11:30. Which is when I used to start my shift back when I was a bartender. But right now it’s too late for me by a lot. Didn’t get to bed until after one, and that was not good.
Music still has so much sad.
Because I still miss my friend who is dead. He was at the concert too, sitting on the window ledge and smoking.
It never bothers me when he smokes. Maybe dead people cigarettes smell differently. I told him how many years it has been since I stopped, and he was really happy for me.
The news. I am ignoring it.
Seriously, it’s too much.
I wish the Shiva Nata training was at least a week longer!
I have so much more to cover!
And everyone is so amazing and I just want to get to hang out with them and do crazy shivanauttery all day.
Why does it have to end? Not fair! Not fair!
But it ends this afternoon. And then Rally starts Monday. What?! How?
That’s going to be amazing though, so ONWARD to the good!
The good stuff
Hit by massive inspiration.
I had a good three days of being in the zone, thanks to all the crazed Shiva Nata I’d done the week before.
Rewrote the Rally (Rally!) page, knocked about seventeen big things off the List of Roses and Iguanas, and wrote all the things that had been kicking around in my head wanting to be written.
Including the thing I had been completely blocked on. I just sat down and wrote it. Not even at Rally. Incredible.
A first.
I started this site six years ago (six years and two weeks!) but I’ve never done a guest post.
That’s because I’ve never wanted to.
But I did it for TJ as part of his Wagging the Blog experiment.
Partly because I really like the form. 30 Things I Love Right Now.
And partly because I really like TJ.
Also I met him at Rally. Rally! You should come to a Rally. It will be good. It’s where I meet people.
Anyway, I will send you think link when it’s up.
Lovely serendipity.
Went out to see a film on the weekend but there was a crazy impossibly long line, so gave up on that.
Went outside just as my friend Dana and her husband were driving by. They stopped. We went to Captured by Porches for beer and happiness. It was just right.
Help and support.
I’m getting so much wonderful help and support from people in my Kitchen Table program. I get to run all this stuff I’m working on by them, and they are so unbelievably helpful.
Feeling really appreciative.
Sharon Van Etten!
Even with no sleep, I wouldn’t have missed that show for the world.
It was unbelievably great.
Bliss.
I was there.
Thank you.
Exhale.
I’ll link to a video at the bottom so you can imagine it. Just like that but a hundred million times better!
The Shiva Nata training.
Ohmygod, this training.
I am having so much fun teaching it.
The hot buttered epiphanies are top notch: extra buttery!
The people who came are smart, funny, creative, goofy, and wonderful companions for doing something like this.
It’s a thrilling experience, really and truly.
And the usual thing where everyone there thinks they can’t do it and they can’t teach it, and then they all realize how deliciously wrong they are about all of that.
Also, I’m teaching it completely differently than either of the last two, which is a fun experiment. Results! There are many.
And all the Shiva Nata, of course.
We’ve done it silently and with music.
With words and numbers together. If you get a chance, ask one of our brand new teachers about the ten creative robots, the twenty one comforting ice creams and the twenty eight magical moments of spontaneity.
With sound effects:
Whoosh, Kapow, Meep and Ping for the horizontals. Eeeee, Shhhhh, Splat and Zap for the verticals. These also combine in cool ways like Meeping (4:3) or Splatsch (7:6).
Kapow and Whoosh gives you this cool kapowsh kapowsh sound.
We did it in a variety of other impossible ways too. We got hot and sweaty. We got still and silent. We did things we didn’t think we could do.
We made mistakes gleefully, messed up disastrously, made order out of chaos and took the world apart and put it back together. We rested and we ate potato chips. We fondled butt-monsters.
And I get to do three whole more hours of this stuff today. Yay!
Oh, and all the epiphanies, of course.
The number of insights, realizations, understandings and bits of Oh Yes It’s Like That have been huge.
Between the training and all the stuff I did to prepare for the training, my mind has been blown six ways from Sunday.
Wow. That’s all I can say for now. Wow! And still processing the rest.
Rally starts on Monday!
I love Rally so much I can hardly stand it. Rally!
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band courtesy of my wonderful uncle Svevo:
Mysterious Toe Accordion
They’re playing in town all week. Except that it’s really just one guy.
Also thanks to Darcy for introducing me to this marvelous song.
From the archives.
An old post of mine I accidentally encountered this week that I don’t remember writing or that seemed weirdly useful…
That’s from November, 2008. Weird.
Announcement time!
Imagine that I’m wearing that crazy hat. 🙂
- Reminder: Rally prices have to go up in 2012. Sooner than it sounds. And Rallies are already filling up quickly. So take a look at the SCHEDULE for this new year and make a Gwish about when/how.
- The whisper-brunch is happening for Crossing the Line: the 8 Day Voyage! (password: haulaway). I highly recommend signing up before I have a chance to write the copy for this. The bonuses are better.
- Lisa Firke has a gorgeous new site and, even better, a wonderful list called Rabbit, Rabbit. Get on that! I am a Lisa-fan.
I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.