What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Widdershins!
My uncle Svevo, who also happens to be my favorite person in the entire world, takes more joy and delight in the unexpected than anyone I know.
Whenever he visits Hoppy House, I know that he’ll bring along crumpled paper bags filled with marvelous and unlikely things.
A loaf of bread he baked on top of his pot-bellied stove. A toy chicken that lays pretend eggs. A ridiculously enormous supply of my favorite feta. Beeswax candles. Something he found in the woods that makes a good tea or an unusual snack. Like pine tips.*
* I just found this entertaining post about pine tips. See also this one for recipes.
Once — at a wedding — he gave me a toy car wrapped in old newspapers in a shoebox inside of a shoebox inside of another shoebox. The car was blue. The real present was in the trunk.
I could go on.
Widdershins! One of his favorite words.
Widdershins comes from the fantastic German word widersinnig (of course it does!), which means something like against common sense.
I think of it more as against the grain. Which is basically my uncle.
Widdershins means taking a course contrary to the apparent motion of the sun — or going in a direction opposite to the usual.
Yes. Going in a direction opposite to the usual.
It is also quite fun to say. Widdershins!
Like opposite day, only better.
When I go for a walk in the park with my uncle, he says, Let’s go Widdershins! Do you want to?
And we do. I didn’t even realize that I always walked around the park the same way, but it feels weird and awesome to go the other way. It’s brain-tingly. Same same but different.
Svevo told me that when he teaches P.E. (he’s a sometimes substitute teacher at an elementary school), the kids unconsciously run around the track or play their games exactly the same way.
He taught them Widdershins! And now whenever he teaches, they ask “ooh, can we please do it widdershins?”
It’s magic. I love it so much.
And like on Rally.
When we’re on retreat aka Rally, I am constantly reminding people about another useful phrase, this one in Hebrew:
Meshaneh makom meshaneh mazal.
It means: Change your place. Change your luck.
It means: when you change perspective, your fortune changes too.
In my experience, the people who struggle most with their projects during Rally are often the same people who don’t move around. They stay mostly in the same room, the same position, the same attitude.
When we do movement practice, they’re usually standing in the same place and getting frustrated about the same mistakes (even though mistakes are what we’re going for).
It’s not always fun to mix things up. And of course, safety first — you don’t want to ignore your comfort zone.
But if you can change your perspective? Do it. Widdershins!
And like Pineapple Upside Down days.
Pineapple Upside Down days are what I call weekends.
I’ve been deep in the practice of Not Working Weekends for several months now, and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
The thing that has helped most is not thinking of them as weekends.
Now I think of Saturday and Sunday as the days when everything is unlike how it normally is.
I take down the pirate duck flag (the Jolly Selma!) and raise the flag of Upside Down.
It is imaginary. And it features a carton of take-out with the invisible slogan Thai food for breakfast!
Not that that’s what I do. It’s just the symbol of Everything Is Different Now. How is this night different from all other nights? Etc etc. Widdershins!
You learn a pattern. You take it apart.
You use the new pattern to take apart the old one. But you can’t get too attached to the new one either because the next one will be even crazier.
It teaches you ADAPTABILITY. AGILITY. FLEXIBILITY. FLOW.
The things that are most important in life and in business.
Oh, everything is like this now?! Okay. Got it. I can handle that.
That is power. Accepting the new way, and also accepting that it won’t always be the new way. Good for the body and good for the brain. Widdershins!
And like yesterday.
I was rewriting the page about the September training.
Now known as:
The Shivanautical Academy of Hilarity and Play presents the most brilliant, fun and sparkly training ever!
And it was so damn hard.
I knew what I wanted to say but not how to say it, and I kind of … stopped believing that I ever could.
So I threw ten thousand panicking temper tantrums about how impossible it was.
But then I remembered about going the opposite direction.
Once I’m going an opposite way, it almost doesn’t matter in opposite of what.
I can start at the end and reverse-engineer. Or go randomly. Or tear everything up and start over. The point is, not in the way that I would normally go.
And it worked. Widdershins! Yes, I can’t stop.
Apply to anything and stir.
So. Comment zen for today!
Here’s what I would love:
- Many happy exclamations of Widdershins!
- Ideas, examples and stories about approaching things in an unlikely way or turning something around.
- I would also appreciate some rejoicing with me over having finished the page.
That is all. As always, we all have our stuff and we’re all working on our stuff. We own our stuff, and we’re respectful of other people’s stuff.
Love all around. And exclamation points. Widdershins!
Looking for the signs.
I collect signs.
Not literally or anything. I just make a note when I come across a good one.
What is a good sign?
A good sign is like a thoughtful bathroom.
It’s filled with love. Written by someone with a caring heart.
A good sign is like a Very Personal Ad.
It speaks to the qualities behind the thing being asked for.
It goes to the essence of the request rather than the act of requesting.
A good sign is like a gwish.
It sends a wish into the air, without attachment to outcome.
Look at this sign!
I was at a cafe I like.
Guess what the sign on the counter said?
“Musicians! Bring in your own recorded music and get 10 free coffees. Help us stay 90% local music…”
That’s a sign that manages to be a Very Personal Ad and a loving request and a declaration of culture. Kind of like our Whee! the People!
It says this is who we are and how we like to be.
And it invites other people to join in and say YAY and be a part of this thing we’re doing, but without implying that our way is the only way or the best way.
Here’s another one I really like.
I stayed in a hotel that, like many hotels, left chocolates on the pillow.
Since I have been off sugar for eleven years now, this doesn’t usually leave an impression one way or the other.
But these chocolates came with a note. And a note is really a sign:
“May your time here be filled with sweetness and delight.”
It was a wish for me. A wish and an affirmation and a statement of what is important — to their way of thinking — about running a hotel.
That’s how signs should work.
Signs everywhere.
The most fun part about collecting signs is that you have regular reminders of how you want to live.
Sometimes when I look at a sign I just see the qualities in it and not the words.
SAFETY. REASSURANCE. ORDER.
Of course other times all I see in signs is the fear (“We don’t want to get sued!” or “We have to control everything all the time!”).
But even then underneath all that is a desire for things to be peaceful, if not really phrased in the best terms.
I collect all kinds of signs.
They help me run my business. They help me write Very Personal Ads. They help me think about how I want to present what I do, and what I want to wish for my people.
And comment zen for today!
What I would love:
Favorite signs that you have found. Or any signs you like!
Signs that you would wish for.
Signs that exist in your home, business, office, relationships etc that aren’t necessarily obviously signs.
And any other thinking out loud about why this is so important.
As always, we all have our stuff and we let other people have their stuff. We make room for each other, and we don’t tell anyone what to do.
Love to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.
Very Personal Ads #99: take one down pass it around
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
We’re at ninety nine consecutive weeks of Very Personal Ads! That is spectacular. Help me come up with a way to celebrate next week?
Thing 1: implementation!
Here’s what I want:
I had about seventeen hundred great ideas this week and now stuff needs to happen with them.
Or at least with one of them.
Ways this could work:
Lots of Shiva Nata.
Review my notes.
Long walks to clear my head.
Using the Deguiltified Chicken Board at my Kitchen Table program.
My commitment.
To ask loving, curious questions.
To dance it up!
And to take lots of notes. Revue!
Thing 2: I want to help someone and I don’t know how.
Here’s what I want:
Right now there’s this hard situation of watching someone I like struggle, knowing that this person doesn’t have anyone to advocate for her cause.
I want to help and am not sure what would be useful.
Ways this could work:
Maybe I don’t have to know that part yet.
Maybe I can call H and see what she knows.
Maybe after some shivanautical flailing, the right approach will come to me.
My commitment.
To think loving thoughts. To sit with this challenge and do some brainstorming.
To wish for perfect, simple solutions for everyone involved.
Thing 3: FOCUS.
Here’s what I want:
I have a bunch of half-written things that need more love and attention.
Adventures-in-progress.
It would be great if this could be the week where the zone comes back.
Ways this could work:
It just could.
And then the usual ways of course.
My commitment.
To dance it up, to play, to walk, to breathe, to stretch, to keep moving.
Thing 4: un-obsessing an obsession
Here’s what I want:
This thing I keep thinking about is constantly being thought about, and it’s not helping anyone.
It’s time to start untangling and separating.
Ways this could work:
Finding the essence of the desire, so that I can fill up on the qualities instead of being pulled into the wanting.
Talking to Slightly Future Me and asking her for advice on how to shift perspective.
Finding the good and the useful about this situation.
My commitment.
I’m going to take this one into my Shiva Nata practice to find out what the patterns are.
And I’m going to try and be patient with myself. There’s a lot going on here, and I don’t need to resolve all of it at once.
I’m trying to remember that there’s time.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
Let’s see. I wanted recovery time and to consolidate my new Rally systems.
And both of those sort of happened and also sort of didn’t. Progress was made, but maybe not as much as I’d hoped for.
On the other hand, I did spend quite a bit of time this week working on new ways of doing things that should indirectly help with both of these. I’m going to re-wish these!
Then I wanted support with risk-taking, and it’s happening! I also wanted large bulletin boards and ended up getting the First Mate to make me some (thanks, Ingrid!).
And I said my giant gwish (the one about doing agility and coordination trainings for the Timbers) OUT LOUD. And that was a big deal.
Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!
Things I’d rather not have:
The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.
Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.
Friday Chicken #147: don’t mention the rabbits.
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
It’s Friday? It’s Friday!
Okay. I’ll go along with this Friday thing.
Let’s do it. What happened this week?
The hard stuff
A few seriously unproductive days.
I loathe the word “productive”.
But I am also not a fan of the Great Slump that took over a large part of this week.
Blech.
Difficult decisions.
And not being even slightly motivated to make them.
Sneaky sneaky sneaky HSP.
So I know that crowds set off my highly sensitive person stuff (all the boxes on that page are checked), and I made a conscious choice/experiment to go to the Timbers match anyway.
And I prepared myself. I spent several hours working on my force field, planning my exit strategies and working on things that would keep me feeling calm, stable and grounded.
So here’s the good part the amazing part: it worked!
I was one hundred percent absolutely fine. No freak-outs. No panic attacks. Fine. Nothing short of miraculous.
So I was feeling pretty good about this, and then on the super crowded train going home, I saw a little kid getting squeezed in the crowd and that’s when it all fell apart.
We made it through. No tears. And I got the kid a seat and he was all smiles again. But oh, is there anything more disheartening than thinking you’re safely through the hard and then finding yourself right in the middle of it?
Oh oh oh oh oh..
Please send warm, loving wishes for health and healing to Buster Posey.
The banner.
Okay, this is a mix of hard and good because the banner got found (yay!).
But the gorgeous Shiva Nata sponsor banner that hangs at the roller derby bouts was missing for the past few bouts and I was miss sadface mouse.
Especially since I’ve been doing all this internal work about getting ready to do more shivanautical work with athletes. It seemed to my monsters like a bad sign.
Tee hee! Sign! Banner sign!
The good stuff
Dancing every day!
Yes, dance.
So very good.
I made it through the entire football match!
And enjoyed every minute of it.
I mean, I knew I’d enjoy the match. Was just worried about noise/stress levels and proximity of people. But I prepared and it worked.
That’s a big deal.
Pulling out of last week’s funk.
Not out of the forest but not hating the forest either.
It’s always a good sign when I start mangling my metaphors.
A marvelous weekend of roller derby.
So many good things!
First the Wheels of Justice beat Texas. Yes!
Then I did a hilarious and challenging Shiva Nata warm-up for the team I sponsor.
And yeah, they lost but they SHOWED UP and looked great and didn’t lose by two hundred points, which is awesome because it’s pretty much all new skaters this year and it’s a weird rebuilding year and so on.
Plus GNR had an entire section of loud happy fans, which was a lovely change. And I (picture!) wore my pink wig. As threatened here.
Svevo is coming!
My favorite uncle will be visiting Hoppy House this weekend and maybe into the week, and I am overjoyed.
There will be long conversations, long walks, long naps, homemade bread and sitting in the rocking chair or on the swings.
And all will be good. Because it just is. That is what it’s like being with Svevo.
And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”
This week’s band:
Hot Cross and the Buntings
They’re playing in town all week. Except it’s really just one guy.
Stuff I’m reading or thinking about this week:
How to break up, according to these fourteen films.
This excellent interview with Rettig To Rumble, who — as it turns out — is hilarious and charming in addition to being awesome, beautiful and terrifying.
How much I love J.J., who sent me (and the Playground) the most wonderful magnets in the world.
Excellent Shiva Nata post from Rose.
I am madly in love with this cat, who is a ninja and a shivanaut, apparently.
And do not click on this incredible site of television tropes (like the Department of Redundancy Department) unless you have a lot of time on your hands because it is Delightful Rabbit Hole City in there.
Wait, how was that not our band of the week? I have no idea. I’m sure Delightful Rabbit Hole City has some good tunes.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Thinking about love.
Unconditional love is such a weird concept.
It’s both crazy hard and incredibly simple.
Hard to remember. Especially when I feel overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, unsure, disconnected.
Sometimes I have to remind myself from the outside when I forget how to access it on the inside. Or the other way around. But sometimes jumpstarting is involved.
What I’m thinking about when I’m thinking about unconditional love.
I think about Tapuzonet, the neighborhood cat I hang out with every Tuesday (that’s not really her name — just what I call her), and how my heart melts when I see her.
I think about what it means to be a super fan.
How the Timbers Army sings louder when the team isn’t doing well. What it feels like to wave, yell, sing, stomp and cheer through and after a loss. That rush of appreciation without expectation.
As if thousands of people are following the same silent internal call: Love harder! Love harder!
I think about how when you’re falling in love with someone, all their character flaws are adorable and charming.
And physical weirdness just makes them hotter. Unconditional lust! How is that not a phrase?
I think about trees.
How they don’t ask anything of you. I remember the redwoods. Like giant humming love machines. They really do hum.
I think about my gentleman friend doing the hilarious Egg Dance to cheer me up, even though he doesn’t dance ever.
I think about the deep, powerful, full-body happy that can come after a session of Old Turkish Lady yoga.
Or even after an endorphin-packed aerobic workout. How your body is singing to you and you are singing back and it’s this joyful chorus of I am here.
I think about the shivanautical epiphanies and how sometimes you start to feel the new patterns landing, and there is so much excitement for everything that is now possible.
Possibility rushes through your veins and then there is just love.
I feel into all of these, and I begin to remember.
And even in those moments when I can’t feel loving towards myself or anyone else, I can remember aspects of the feeling.
I can find the tiny places inside of me that remember what it is like to fill up with love. And we can start from there.
And comment zen for today.
This stuff is hard. We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process.
We let other people have their own experience, which is why we don’t give advice or try to make things better for people. We give each other spaciousness and appreciation.
If you want to share things that remind you of unconditional love, that would be beautiful. And of course you don’t have to.