Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I invariably discover useful information about my relationship with the thing I think I want, and with the experience of Wanting itself. Join in if you like….

What do I want?

The situation. And background.

So last week was the week of emptying and emptying. This is next piece. Release and receive. Receive and release.

The two things I find the hardest or most challenging. Why not.

Come on, they’re here. So let’s play.

The first thing I want is to stop retelling (or believing in) the story about how These Are Things I’m Not Good At. Or These Are The Things Currently Kicking My Ass.

I want to meet them (hello, releasing! hello, receiving!) like playmates, or old friends I haven’t seen in a while. To approach with love, curiosity, wonder, awe and delight.

What I want.

To deepen my relationship with release and receiving, receiving and releasing.

And to remember. This time around we’re in INTENTIONAL relationship. This something that is conscious, something I choose.

Now is not then.

I want to pay attention to the relationship between receiving and releasing. To test hypotheses. Do I find it is true — for me, right now — that the more I release, the easier it is to receive? The more I empty, the easier to replenish?

Do I find it is true — for me, right now — that as I get better at receiving, the easier it is to let go and empty out?

Is the inhalation easing the exhalation? Does exhale sweeten inhale?

And I want to practice this in ways that are pleasurable and intriguing, not terrifying and overwhelming.

The qualities inside of the wants:

Hahahaha! I just looked at the qualities I named last week when I was working on Emptying, and guess what. Release and Receive. Right there. I asked for these last week and didn’t realize how important they were going to be, and also forgot about them until now.

Release was the second quality (northeast on the compass) and receive was the fifth (southwest). That is so so so funny and perfect.

You know what? Let’s keep last week’s eight qualities, in the same order.

Trust. Release. Steadiness. Ground. Love. Receive. Miracles. Willingness.

And let’s go with the superpower or sankalpa of My Roots Are Well Nourished.

What might help?

Writing about this.

Ooh funny story, I was sitting in the park this weekend with my notebook, and wrote the following:

“Remember when you had the dream about how quitting grad school made everything better but then you woke up and didn’t know what grad school was supposed to be? And then you figured it out and now you’re quitting grad school. Well, the new thing that is coming is a long-term self-guided self-study in receiving. So start receiving the things that are waiting to be received.”

And then suddenly there was a bicycle next to me, and it was Agent W with a present for me from his sister.

Anyway. Writing. In the park. More of that.

What else might help?

• Practice receiving, practice releasing.
• Receive things like compliments. Receive things in the form of using or availing myself of gifts that have already been given to me.
• Release through moving things out.
• Release through water.
• Receive through pleasure, receive through silence.
• Release through going into the conducting vault and breathing trust.
• Release through trust.
• Talk to slightly future me about why this is important and useful. Find out what she knows.
• Use the Sail of Emptying as practice for both releasing and receiving, and for appreciation for what has come before.

Anything else?

I will receive the gifts of June. Including sun and strawberries.

And release the things that are done.

I’m playing with…

Trusting that anything I do this week is related to this, even if it doesn’t seem to be. Fractal flowers everywhere.

What I want.

Some of these are secret agent code and some are taking a silent retreat on.

Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.

• More wishes in glass bottles.
• Tetris is fun.
• Skipping all the stones.
• There is time for what I need.
• Connections! Connections!
• Good news from Hope.
• Presence and play.
• Oh man, I’m so glad it turned out like this. THE BEST. <-- I want to be able to say this about all kinds of things.
• Long, slow, sweet yoga. With fellow agents.
• Plenty of what I need, in a way that I can appreciate.
• Even more perfect, simple solutions. Readily available.
• Really great surprises.

Repeat-wishes

• Resting into miracles.
• Information for rendezvous with Agent Wilkinson.
• Choosing quiet.
• Left-handed labyrinth.
• Perfect simple solutions, suddenly visible!
• Sound effects for my internal video game.
• Being at the 9&9, even when it isn’t nine or nine.
• Ahahaha I am an accidental genius! SOLVED.
• Well-rested: the first and best well.
• What do I need? What do I want?
• Sweet blissful steadiness.
• Things that need to exit now exit gracefully.
• Things that need to come in now are received with love.

The qualities inside of the wants:

Same as last time. These are working for me. And look, there’s release again.

Curiosity. Shelter. Wonder. Plenty. Appreciation. Release. Sustenance. Play.

And the superpower of this is the most fun game ever.

I ask for this one every week, but not bored of it yet: Seeing the secret holiness of everything.

Ways this could work.

It just can.

I’m playing with…

Following the clues. Letting each piece have value and meaning.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Okay, last week..

Last week I asked for help with emptying, and yes. SO MUCH EMPTYING. It was great.

Also asked for a new lease and emptying through talking to Hope. Both of those: thumbs up.

Some other things are still percolating, I might want to revisit them later.

And the main cool thing is that I asked for the superpower of things sliding into place, and that was the best. I was able to experience that happening in bits and pieces this week, and wow.

Thank you, last-week-me. You had good instincts.

Also! The Sail of Emptying is still happening. Five products are disappearing from the shop but you can get them through the 11th. So this week.

Playing. Shelter for the comments.

What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.

I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.

We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.

This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.

That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!

As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.

xox