What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
What's in the gallery?
We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.
We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**
* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.
** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.
Friday Chicken #201: late for a very important
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Man, time. I don’t know where it’s going.
Somehow this week just kind of happened.
Let’s see.
The hard stuff
You know what? Let’s start with today.
I generally try to avoid having meetings and such on Fridays because the Book of Me is very clear on how this invariably ends up screwing my weekend.
But today was all meetings all day. And about eight different buses. It was hellish.
All I want is for Friday to be a long relaxing graceful side into exit.
And a bath.
Ow ow.
Super ridiculously sore because of going back to dance class after two months hiatus, due to [personal].
[personal].
The thing I’ve been going through is still a thing. Better than before, but still taking up most of my time and energy.
Related, I can’t concentrate at all.
Seriously my attention span is limited to maybe getting an hour of work done a day until I can’t do any more.
Which is kind of a problem because we are CRAZY FREAKING BUSY with the new space.
Sunday afternoon.
Crying for hours on end because of old narrative and basically being deep in my stuff and the stories, in the helpless and the grief, thinking it would be forever.
Knowing, of course, the truth: that none of it is about me.
But still sad.
Haircut.
Grumble, change, grumble, adjust, grumble.
Wally is gone for a MONTH, what will I dooooooooooo?!
Physical therapy addict, it is me.
Not hearing a thing I wanted to hear.
In three different ways. And then being so in my pain about the not hearing.
Impatience.
Specifically wanting changes at Hoppy House and the new Playground to happen faster than they’re happening.
Unforseen problems and challenges.
The leak in the Treasure Cave (that’s the treatment room we’re opening at Stompopolis) meant the carpet had to dry out and then the carpet cleaners had to come, and now the ceiling tiles need to be replaced….
Agonizing waiting plus frustration plus expense plus worry.
I want to tell people about a thing but I can’t.
See also: [personal].
The good stuff
Roller derby league championships!
Every minute of it.
Hanging out with friends, beating the Heathers, the incredibly exciting last jam overtime bout of craziness, just being in a state of joy.
Change.
Things that were disharmonious coming into new and much more pleasant configurations.
Sunday night.
Everything that was not good became good again. Not really in any way related to the things that had seemed painful, more just the perfect distraction. And a reminder that actually no, things are beautiful.
Sunday night was luminous.
Oh sweetness.
And then the perspective that comes from sweetness.
Lighting! Finally installed.
I know, it’s been months that we’ve been waiting on this.
Everything looks better now.
Small miracles. And yoga.
There was magic in the air.
Back to dancing!
Everything is better when I’m dancing.
Reconnecting.
Something that was broken came back together.
A wish granted.
One of my Very Personal Ads from Monday was for some clearing of the air in a way that is sweet and harmonious, and it happened!
I absolutely didn’t think that was possible but then it was!
My brain!
All the amazing Shiva Nata I did this week was doing the craziest things. Epiphanies and realizations all over the place. Catching things in mid-air. Undoing old patterns. Replacing stuck pieces with flow.
I am in awe of the whole damn thing.
Body.
This is where I live.
And some times this is hard and painful. But this week it felt like home.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is:
From The Park
They’re shaggy-haired goofballs who play banjo. And sometimes kazoo.
Though, of course, it turns out that it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
The thing that saved my ass a thousand times this week when things were scary and painful was the monster manual & coloring book. So I’m recommending that.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Very Personal Ads #151: Professional Hooky Player.
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
I had a very intense weekend, so I’m only just now sliding into Monday.
Professional Hooky Player. That’s my new gig.
I might have to put it on my business card instead of pirate queen. Anyway….
Very! Personal! Ads!
Here we go.
Thing 1: Clear lines of communication
Here’s what I want:
A number of situations I’m currently in seem to have some pretty messy communication things happening.
I want a clearing of the lines.
Actually, I just noticed that I’ve never liked the phrase “to clear the air”, because it makes me think of giant scary storms.
But what I want is the rainstorm. Not a rough drenching. Just a sweet release, and then for the air to smell all earthy and beautiful again.
Ah, well.
Even if that doesn’t happen, I just want some of the layers of Stuff (mine and theirs) to dissipate.
Ways this could work:
I had my ohmygod-lightbulbs-everywhere epiphany this morning about what was really happening here, thanks to Shiva Nata.
So now I’ll be doing my part to clear out my patterns. With more Shiva Nata. And processing and removing things that are not from now.
And I will keep planting this wish for clear, clean back-and-forth.
I’ll play with…
Wishing good things for everyone involved.
With the qualities of presence, trust and commitment. That last one surprised me, I didn’t see it coming. Hi, commitment. I want to know more about you.
Thing 2: Giant progress on Stompopolis.
Here’s what I want:
Speaking of shivanautical epiphanies, I had an outrageously huge understanding last week about what needs to happen for Stompopolis to be able to open more fully to the public (well, some of the public).
But that involved rethinking a million different things.
So now I want the various pieces to fall into place.
Ways this could work:
Tomorrow Cairene will be helping me. We need lists! We need inspiration! We need fun!
And I can put Thursday aside from rewriting the copy.
I’ll play with…
Yes, it’s a wild, crazy, ridiculous idea and outrageously risky, so I’m just going to go full out and DO IT. With panache.
And when this scares me too much, I’m going to cry and be gentle and take myself to the park.
Thing 3: Readjusting/recalibrating/reconfiguring.
Here’s what I want:
Hmmm. I received a piece of very disturbing news today and am feeling upset about it.
I would like:
- Spaciousness for processing the things that I’m feeling.
- A clear and sovereign response.
I would also like a perfect simple resolution, and I would like this to happen without me having to get directly involved. May it be so.
Ways this could work:
I’m going to have to look at the pain (from a safe distance), because I suspect this is a case of Now reminding me of Then, except that Now Is Not Then.
I’ll play with…
More Shiva Nata, of course.
It solved everything for me last week.
Thing 4: The right words, please.
Here’s what I want:
Due to an unexpected [personal thing], I’ve had to navigate a fairly big change-of-plans that influences people aside from myself.
I want to be able to explain this in a way that is simple, clear, sweet, direct and easy.
Ways this could work:
Connecting with the want behind the want.
Using the four questions.
I’ll play with…
Getting quiet and listening.
Thing 5: [Silent Retreat!]
Here’s what I want:
I’m going to silent retreat on the details, but it involves lusciousness. Again! And possibly wine.
Ways this could work:
Willing to be surprised.
I’ll play with…
Showing up.
Specifically, showing up with willingness, receptivity, curiosity and playfulness.
Thing 6: Mini-chrysalis.
Here’s what I want:
I need to run away (run awaaaaaaaaay) before Rally to prepare myself.
But I have ZERO idea of how this could happen given how busy we are right now with the new space. The monsters are having seven thousand fits about how we just went away and can’t possibly retreat into a shell again.
It needs to happen. I just don’t know how.
Ways this could work:
A miracle.
Possibly several miracles.
I’ll play with…
Wanting the want, and letting that be enough for now.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
We asked the question: “But is it luscious?!”
And that turned out to be exactly the right thing to ask.
Let’s see. I wanted to readjust my concept of HOME. And a really interesting thing related to that happened right away.
Then I wanted new curtains for the kitchen and nothing happened with that, so I’ll re-ask.
I went looking for tablecloths and didn’t find what I wanted but found something else instead.
There was an ask about the hamsa, and I’m putting that one back in the pot to look at it some more.
Basically what I’m noticing is that my highly emotional week did not leave a lot of room for playing with the wanting any further, but that the processing I was able to do changed how I feel in relation to these asks, so that’s interesting.
Maybe most interesting is that last week these seemed impossible, and this week they seem completely natural.
And I wanted to write out the dream/vision for Hoppy House, and I haven’t done that yet but I did get the number of the person who is going to help me do it. So yay for that.
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #200: that’s a lot of fake bands
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
You guys! Two! Hundred! Chickens!
Remember when there were One Hundred Chickens? And the actual hundredth chicken? That seemed like a really big deal. That was also a crazy long time ago.
I still can’t believe that we haven’t missed a week.
Thank you, everyone who has every been part of it. Whether you do it here or on your own, all chickens are loved and appreciated. 🙂
The hard stuff
Changes.
Even when you have desperately wanted them.
Like when you ask for them at Rally, and you figure out how they can be easy and then they just miraculously happen!
Change is a really big deal. And even the most wished-for things can still be scary/hard/uncomfortable when they show up, as it turns out.
Adjusting and more adjusting.
Yup.
Oh, all the not hearing back.
That point of waiting-not-waiting.
A number of things both business and personal are kind of in limbo right now (or so it feels, at any rate), and this was a reminder/reflection/confirmation of that.
I would like to hear! Back!
Except that’s not what’s happening right now, and there isn’t anything I can do about that part. Just being with the part that’s mine.
The superpower of loving, gracious, beautiful detachment was available this week in a few key moments of grace, but the rest of the time it was hard to remember what that felt like.
A maybe-broken friendship?
I am hoping-hoping-hoping not but also I am in my stuff about this right now.
STILL?!?!?!
The new lighting for Stompopolis that we ordered back in March is still not installed.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Perception of things not feeling safe.
Like at the Playground when one of the pirate crew doormice reported that a bunch of people who shouldn’t have the code to the building have the code to the building.
So we had to change all the codes.
Or hearing that something was stolen from one of our neighbors in the building.
Grumble!
More PTSD fun.
Crowds and public transportation were out this week as I tried to create safe rooms for all the past versions of me who think that things are exploding.
Damage.
During the rainstorms of insanity this week, there was damage to Stompopolis!
The Treasure Cave (that’s the new treatment room) flooded, and three ceiling pieces are ruined, and everything got wet!
Then someone was fixing something in the Playground and broke it.
Then everything went kablooey, so grrrrrrrrrr!
The good stuff
Ohmygod this was the best week!
All these planted-wants and old wishes just showed up this week, along with beautiful moments of glowing TRUTH.
Mmmmmmmmm.
Sleeping!
Sleeping so well.
And naps. Yum.
And space to nap in. Speaking of which….
Space things working out the way I want.
Which just feels kind of miraculous.
Stompopolis is okay, despite the damage.
Hooray!
Getting caught in the rain.
On Saturday there was an hour that turned out to be the most rain-filled (rain-heavy? heaviest rain?) in all documented history of Portland.
And my friend Chuck (Her Chuckness) and I were in the middle of a walk when the skies opened, and for some reason getting soaked to the bone was kind of hilarious, so and we giggled the entire water-logged impossible-to-see way, and each time we thought it couldn’t possibly rain any harder, it did.
Normally this would have been another sign that everything is going Horribly Wrong, but it wasn’t. It was fun.
That was reassuring.
Giant epiphanies!
None of which can be explained very well, but I ran around all week saying things like, “OF COURSE! I don’t know what to do at a health club but I am a genius at secret societies! The blanket fort’s name is George!”
And it all made sense.
Seriously I did so much Shiva Nata this week, and everything was just clear and clean and easy. All my superpowers came out to play, and it worked.
Courageous mouse me.
I did a bunch of things that scared me this week (some symbolic and some real-and-in-person and one involving a twisty-slide).
And none of the things were scary while they were happening. It was only beforehand when I was telling complicated stories about how scary they were.
This was a good thing to remember.
Process process process.
Writing and stone skippings and implementation of said epiphanies.
Support and right timing when I needed it.
Also a tiny but important miracle.
I made a seemingly-impossible wish and it came true.
*sparkles*
Last night.
I just felt smile-ey and at home in myself.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
I learned about this week’s band from a little girl in the park (in an admirably stripey jumpsuit) who was on the swing next to me.
Sideways Hamster
They’re loud and funny and sweet, or at least that’s what I imagine.
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
I have a bunch of things to say, but for now I will just say Rally! Rally! Rally!
Because this week was full of GIANT transformational newness and that was basically because everything I planted at Rally is falling into place.
Rally!
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.
Very Personal Ads #150: but is it luscious?
Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.
I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!
Oh, hey there, VPAs.
As always happens right after Rally (Rally!), I have way more information about what I want… both in life and in general.
And I feel less conflicted about wanting it.
On the other hand, I’m also hyper-conscious of all the things that aren’t working or feel incongruent.
Anyway, all my asks this week have to do with Hoppy House, and giving my home some serious warm, loving attention.
Thing 1: changing/adjusting my concept/definition of “home”.
Here’s what I want:
This word needs some rewriting.
Or: I need to give it a new definition.
Either way, I want to feel less conflicted and more sparkly about this thing that is HOME and a home for me.
Ways this could work:
I can invite metaphor mouse to come and save the day!
I can OOD it.
And I can reread my post about how everything is a home for everything else, and maybe that will spark some things.
Also, I can interview Slightly Future Me since she’s already figured this thing out.
I’ll play with…
Getting quiet.
Investigating internally and looking at threads and themes. Like hidden associations, personal style, desire, etc.
Thing 2: new curtains for the kitchen.
Here’s what I want:
I am done now — now? now! — with things that belonged to Claudia, even the things that I like.
Suddenly it seems very important for my space to hold all — and only — things of my choosing.
Some of that is impossible at the moment, of course. But it’s a theme. And I’m following it. Seems like an important symbolic change.
[And yes, I just realized this is actually a proxy for another thing.]
Ways this could work:
Didn’t someone recently tell me about a place where they had tiny kitchen-window curtains?
I can’t remember.
I’ll play with…
Looking, exploring, thinking about color and pattern.
Also I want to talk to Rebecca’s friend, who will have ideas.
Thing 3: tablecloths, kind of.
Here’s what I want:
Beautiful, fun, lusciously patterned tablecloths.
Okay, so here’s the thing about this one. When I was on chrysalis and then at Rally last week, Luscious Me made a surprise appearance.
As it turns out, she’s hilarious, feisty, very opinionated, and she wants EVERYTHING to feel luscious.
Sometimes (most of the time) I do not have even the slightest idea what that means. But then I’ll be considering a thing, and she’ll ask: “But is it luscious?“.
And then I have to admit that no, it isn’t. Then we find a solution that *is* luscious, and everything is better.
So if she says tablecloths have to be luscious, then they have to be luscious.
Ways this could work:
There’s a place in Multnomah Village that might have what I’m looking for. But I will also peek downtown.
I’ll play with…
Trusting my instincts.
I don’t know why it’s so hugely important to Luscious Me that we have tablecloths now and this particular kind and that they be “luscious”…
But it seems like it’s really a big deal, so I’m just going to go with it.
And if the monsters don’t like it (they don’t!), we can ask the board of internal scientists to test the hypothesis that Luscious Me might have a point. And then we’ll take notes.
Thing 4: the hamsa
Here’s what I want:
Ways this could work:
Staying focused on the qualities involved inside of this want:
Beauty. Permission. Safety. Steadiness. Truth. Remembering. Signs. Trust. Sustainability. Transition.
I’ll play with…
Drawing it.
Thing 5: writing out the dream.
Here’s what I want:
I finally got a glimpse (thanks to a spectacular shivanautical epiphany) of what I want my house to look and feel like.
Now I’d like to document as much of this as possible and write the vision into being.
Ways this could work:
Sitting. Waiting. Playing.
Skipping some stones.
I’ll play with…
The part about permission to want.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.
You guys! Last week was AMAZING. Hard, but amazing. And the Very Personal Ads (which I wrote on the bus back to Portland) seemed so far-away and impossible, but then the most incredible and astounding things happened anyway.
The ask about taking my time and permission to take time was hugely helpful.
Then I wanted help with my ongoing investigation into my new role at Stompopolis, and I had a massive epiphany that completely solved everything.
I had lots of asks related to Rally (Rally!), and they all came true.
The BIG ask was about courage, and it was there when I needed it. In fact, I kind of snuck in a mini-ask inside of that ask, hoping that the courage would show me the next step so I could do the thing eventually. But I was able to do the thing immediately!
Also I wanted to use Playing Hooky as my proxy mission for Rally, and that was surprisingly useful.
There was something about Revue, which also happened.
And then I wanted a toiletry bag but not to call it that. And I totally did not explain that ask very well, sorry! I wanted the bag itself to put the containers in, not the containers/system, but that didn’t come across very well. A lesson to me in being more clear, which I can always use!
Thanks, Jesse, for suggesting the just-right thing, and to absolutely everyone for being loving and creative and throwing lots of ideas out there. Yay, VPAs!
Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.
- Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
- You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
- Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
- Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
- VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!
xox
Friday Chicken #199: over the bridge
In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
One hundred and ninety nine chickens, you guys!
Take one down…
Pass it around…
Etc etc.
The hard stuff
Not ready to come back to Portland.
My half-Emergency-Vacation-half-chrysalis ended before I was ready for it to end. Noooooooo! Not ready!
I did sneak in one extra day because Slightly Future Me told me to (and, as it turns out, she is a genius).
But I really didn’t want to come back.
Add to this: realizing I’d severely underestimated a) my state of depletion, b) necessary amount of recovery time, c) my desire to be on my own to do on-my-own stuff.
Endings, in general.
Lots of them right now.
It’s been really interesting (interesting-hard!) to see which ones are standing in as proxies for other ones.
For example, I shed tears and agonized over a tiny, meaningless ending related to a television show that I don’t even like, but had pretty much no reaction to a much bigger ending.
Wanting things to be done that are not done.
Like the website for Stompopolis.
Or the system change that will allow us to open.
Other things outside of work that seem to be in a state of limbo.
Patience.
Discovering a thing that I want, but not yet having the resources in place that allow me to act on the wanting.
Tired.
Oh, and dark circles under my eyes.
Discovering a Gigantic Flaw in a thing that was almost ready.
And trying to solve it.
Hard conversations.
That’s pretty much never fun.
Change is good but figuring out new reconfigurations is hard, y’all.
That’s all I want to say about that, so silent retreat!
The good stuff
Going away.
Being on chrysalis changed EVERYTHING.
And I know I said that last week, but it was actually the weekend part of chrysalis where things really all started to make sense.
Trusting my instincts even when they seemed preposterous.
I committed to listening to Incoming Me.
I didn’t buy a bus ticket home because she told me not to. I moved hotels when she said to move hotels.
Basically I did every single thing she told me, and it was all exactly just right.
She even had all sorts of perfect simple solutions for things that usually set off all my stuff.
Sunday.
I pretended it was a Toozday, and then it mysteriously and astonishingly turned out to be the best Toozday ever.
Being wrong!
Not only was I outrageously wrong about a bunch of things I’d assumed were true, I was actually DELIGHTED to discover this was the case.
Turns out that all sorts of things I’d thought were Giant Depressing Pieces of Truth That Need To Be Resolved Over Time were all monster mutterings.
Being wrong!
Change…
Endings are not bad. Endings are not bad. Endings are not bad.
This is what came to me like a clear ringing bell the morning after our craziest Shiva Nata practice at Rally.
Endings. Are. Not. Bad.
I knew that before but this time it was that full-body tingly truth that is the hallmark of the kind of epiphany that can only be described as stoopid.
Deleting things.
Everything is starting to feel more harmonious and congruent. This is a very big deal.
Derby! Derby! Derby!
Admittedly the national season got off to a shaky start with Rose City’s Wheels of Justice playing disastrously against Windy City and then pulling out a miracle to win in the last jam.
But then beating Denver felt really solid. We had the lead the entire time. They skated hard but it just didn’t matter.
But then this past weekend was seriously nail-bitey, with an away game against the Texecutioners. That win was just pure delight. I can’t even tell you how happy I am about it. Final score 148:117.
And then the team went on to beat Houston the next day 301-79. Just for fun.
Reconnecting to my superpowers.
First I had the superpower of Nothing Is Wrong.
Then I had the superpower (thanks to Shiva Nata) of realizing that Especially The Things That Seem The Most Wrong Are Actually Amazing! And then I was able to find the good super fast, instead of wallowing in the hard and then finding the good.
Plus I reconnected with the me who knows about luscious, after thinking I had lost her forever. Wow.
Gigantic epiphanies.
Understandings, realizations, being knocked over by amazement.
Plus a bridge talked to me! Again. But this time it was different.
WATER. Bathing and looking out at the water. Doing yoga and looking out at the water. Waking up and looking out at the water. Watching the water.
Past me is also a genius, as it turns out.
A precaution that past me built into my phone’s contact list a year ago came to my rescue this week in an absolutely remarkable way!
Yay, past-me.
And yay, person who found my phone and knew exactly what to do.
I had the hard conversation and I am still okay.
None of the terrifying things I’d feared came to pass.
The courage that I asked for in the Very Personal Ads on Sunday was there when I needed it.
Time.
Especially: having an evening at home with both time to myself and energy to putter.
Lots of cleaning up, reorganizing and congruence-ing. I can’t remember the last time this happened.
Rally! Rally #20.
Yet again, a bunch of bright, clever, creative, funny, sweet, thoughtful, goofy, kind-hearted people showed up at the Playground to Rally (Rally!) with me.
We giggled, we ate amazing food, we had tingly epiphanies, we changed our internal worlds.
RALLY. It is Not. Like. Anything. Else.
People talking about Rally magic in the Twitter bar.
Amy asked what Rally is like.
And here’s how people who have been to Rally replied:
Leela: Space for your brain to melt so it can reshape the way it really wants to be.
Simone: It’s where I learned about being Loved for the first time in my life.
Andrea: It’s like a magical grilled cheese that finishes your projects + makes you more money.
And then there’s always this exactly-right post….
Of course none of these things really describe Rally, because Rally DOES NOT TRANSLATE.
It can’t be described because of the way it’s constantly magic-ing things up between the raindrops and below the surface.
But these are all perfect beautiful koans that sum up truth. Truth!
Also, these people are now all my friends because when you do something as intense and beautiful as Rally, you kind of can’t help madly loving the amazing people who are there with you.
Huge appreciation for everyone who has Rallied and for everyone who will Rally and for everyone who might, who knows, someday possibly be able to consider Rally or whatever marvelous thing I will be experimenting with when the time comes.
We’ll be at 200 chickens next week.
We’ve never missed a week.
I wish I could go whisper-that to past-me who didn’t think we’d make it past ten.
The fun part of the Chickening happens here.
Tabstravaganza! Or: what’s Havi been up to with all those open Firefox tabs?
Ohmygod Deutsch Doodles!. And with my all-time favorite German expression too. Thanks @chloewrites for the link.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is louder than you’d expect.
Shady Government Agency
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
Rally prices go up soon. Come. To. A. Rally.
June might be full? I have to check with the First Mate and then update the page. But there are a couple spots for July and September.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.